Fuck you anti bird architecture who gives a shit if a little guy makes a nest on top of your stupid Starbucks sign
They put anti-bird spikes on a church in my hometown, so the only place on the building where birds can sit is on the very top, on the cross. So the cross is now covered in bird shit
“In the house of a rich man there is nowhere to spit but his face” -that greek dude who lived in a barrel
hey jsyk while hellofresh is dummy expensive and i wouldn’t reccomend it if you already know how to cook (if you’re a beginner like i was when i had it for 3 months, then it’s worth it), you should know that ALL OF THEIR RECIPES are free on their website and they all fuck hard
i will say that all the cooking instructions for veggies are pretty much the same (season with salt + pepper and roast on the top oven rack at 425F), but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
that being said, it also introduced me to methods i wasn’t at all expecting. i would have never thought to use cream cheese in my meat sauce, and now all my friends are constantly asking me to make my special rigatoni.
happy cheffin! :)
I am a person who uses Hello Fresh for realsies because it is a bit cheaper than groceries here and definitely cheaper than takeout, but we also remake the recipes when we want a specific one and don’t want to wait for it to come around in the rotation again, and therefore I know The Secret Translations of Proprietary Ingredients:
“Cream sauce base” = make a roux, add milk according to how much cream sauce base you’re supposed to have (ex: 4 oz cream sauce base = 4 oz milk)
“1 packet stock concentrate” = either one tablespoon Better than Bullion or, if you want to be really accurate, Savory Choice Broth Concentrate packets are available on Amazon and allegedly that’s what they use
“Italian Heat Spice”/“Blackening Spice”/“Fry Seasoning”/etc.: I promise you someone on Reddit has figured out what spices they use and in what proportions for each mix, if it’s not just a straight up branded mix (like McCormick Grill Mates Brown Sugar Bourbon spice mix)
“Roasted Garlic Herb Butter” (and other compound butters, like truffle butter) = they’re literally Epicurean branded butters, they do not hide this, you can buy them online
“Sweet Soy Glaze”/“Ponzu sauce”/“Hoisin sauce” = literally Kikkoman brand condiments: they don’t hide that, either
“Sweet Thai chili sauce” = any sweet Thai chili sauce from the grocery store will do. We use Blue Dragon or Taste of Thai because that’s what we can get in our grocery store.
The funniest thing in the world to me is when people write mermaids that are bothered by humans eating fish. Like do you think fish don’t eat each other? The ocean is full of little freaks that will eat whatever or whoever the fuck will fit in their mouths. If the mermaids haven’t been eating fish this whole time what do you think they’ve been eating? If the answer is humans, that doesn’t make it any less funny. They’ll eat the species that looks like the top half of them but won’t eat a species that looks like the bottom half? Peak comedy.
“Isn’t it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal” I mean, there’s a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn’t have enough poison in it.
Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.
We’re not fast and don’t have a lot of natural weaponry but we’re bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.
119,664 notes
